It’s hard to forgive someone who has hurt you and betrayed your trust when all you’ve ever given was kindness and love. I could choose to be angry for a lifetime–to be resentful, to mistrust anyone who offers me anything willingly out of their own cup of love. But to continue to be angry, sad, and resentful drains a lot of energy from me–energy I could use instead to building a life that I love in service to a higher calling every day–to joy and purpose, to receiving and sharing love that flows freely from those who are here with me already and those who show how much they want to stay.
This is my prayer and offering:
I forgive you.
I accepted you in love and I release you with love. 🌹
I accept and honor the love I have shared with you–a love that has nourished me, expanded my happiness, and allowed me to grow until I couldn’t anymore. Thank you for being what I needed for the time I needed it. Now, I release you with love and gratitude so I can open myself up to new nourishment that I need to continue to grow and expand, to fortify my roots. I release you so you too can continue to grow and flow the way you are guided to.
This is my offering for today. I forgive you. I release my love with you. Thank you. I hope you can forgive yourself too. And so it is.
Just a few days (and weeks) ago, I could not answer this question. I was immersed in my personal battles and wounds. It was a scary place I found myself in because I lost interest even in the little things that brought me joy like baking and following my creativity. I felt no pleasure in cooking and eating–it was reduced to a chore, a robotic function. I was also a walking storm raring for destruction because I was hurting inside and could not let it go. There was a lot I needed to declutter both physically and metaphorically.
Recently, I started opening my heart again to the truth that I am always being reminded through connections with other kindred spirits, through an outpouring of signs and messages from the Divine, through the love I receive every day, that I chose my soul journey and I am choosing to stay. Even through the difficult times when I am tempted to give up and unravel the work I’ve already done, when I don’t know what to do next, I choose to be here now no matter what now is. I commit to myself–my pain and healing, shadows and light, grief and joy, lessons and blessings. All these essential and complementing ingredients mix together and bake into a delectable Lea cookie. Or cake. Lol. 😂😂
I choose to show up bold and vibrant, with a sassy spirit and a full heart as much as I can. I am grateful for the turning-point moments when I see the light in the darkness and I find the strength to grasp on to it, to amplify and reflect it. I am also reminded of what the fierce spirit/artist & musician Nightbirde (Jane Marczewski), said on her memorable AGT audition:
“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”
Simple but true. That’s what a soul and life journey is all about–you embrace everything you have gone and are going through, even the most challenging, heartbreaking ones–and do your best to make something good out of it every day. 🌻
P.S. While it’s a huge help having a trusted person around who supports and loves you unconditionally, I discovered that the best boost for soul growth is YOU. Learning to be a nurturing mother, cheerleader, and best friend to yourself especially when you didn’t have those kinds of loving relationships growing up opens many doors to healing and growth. You’ll find more love and grounding support than you ever did before because it flows from within. 💗
Growth and transformation cannot come from old narratives you recycle and resurrect again and again. When you pick off dead leaves from your plants, you throw them away or let them become a part of your compost. That’s a natural end to their purposeful life. You don’t change your mind and return dead leaves to your plants–dead leaves have no purpose anymore and carry the risk of infecting your healthy plants with disease or leaching nutrients off of them.
Let the old and what was rest peacefully in the past. From a new perspective comes new growth and possibilities–new doors that open to you and new paths that suddenly become available to you that aren’t possible when you stay stuck in the past.
Don’t allow dead leaves to spoil your roots and dampen your growth. You still have life left in you to bloom and grow into gifts and blessings. You contain seeds of light you can plant whenever and wherever you choose. 🌻
Affirmation: “I’ve let ____ go. Now I am in the flow.”
There are doors you need to close and they remain closed. Some you never even thought you’d get back to, but re-open only in Divine time. And then there is that rare door that remains open always. Love is an open door. Not the kind of love that limits you to one person or this world. It’s a love that embraces everything–always growing, ever evolving regardless of who you meet and connect with. It’s a love that has known but is never tainted by fear, regret, pain, shame. Like taking a page from Doctor Strange’s book, it is the kind of love that transcends time, space, and the multiverse. When everything else has fallen, love remains.
P.S. Thank you for reminding me of this, D, my wildflower soul sister. Love is infinite. 💗
“I contain multitudes.” — Zooey L’Enfant in Surreal Estate (2022)
Sometimes I forget to not get stuck in a narrative–a single story in the past which I continue to heal. Who I am, who I am becoming, what I still have to offer to the world–these are stories-in-the-making, tales in constant flow. These are the best kind of stories–like the choose-your-own-adventure books I used to check out from my school library–the unpredictable ones.
I contain multitudes–layers of stories that were already written, chapters done and pages yet to be filled. I am reminded that I am a speck amidst the vast landscape of the Universe just like all of us–made of stars dancing along the same wire that connects everyone and everything since the beginning. Within me flows the wisdom of the ages and a soul that is one with the divine. Anything is possible. After all, I am the Universe too.