Vignettes

WAKANDA FOREVER: Love never dies

⚠️ Trigger warning: death, loss, grief

I gotta hand it to Marvel–they know how to weave in universal themes that tie in seamlessly with the story and tugs at one’s heart at the same time.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is a meditation on loss, grief, empathy, and the power of a love that never dies. Grief stops us in our tracks and puts everything else in suspension. It requires us to pause and stand still, to be present as we move through all the emotions, thoughts, and memories of our departed loved one.

My biggest takeaway is this: We never truly lose the ones we love who have passed on. They never cease to exist after death. They transform. They linger with us in our hearts long after they have touched the ground or returned to ashes, past the 40 days of mourning and well beyond the years of missing them. We may be parted from their physical presence, but a spark of their soul, their love and warmth stay imprinted on us indefinitely. Their love is what we take with us, what moves us and shapes us for the rest of our lives. This is the power of a love that never dies. 💞

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Personal · Poems · Vignettes

🌈

Dearest Beloved,

Set me up again with the beautiful soul who recognizes the spark of the Divine in her,
the one who believes in Big Magic in every day things,
the one who isn’t afraid to love,
to open her arms wide to surrendering,
to take a leap of faith into detours unknown,
the one who makes joy her compass.

If I falter, send for your army and best guides, throw out flares and synchronicities.
Draw hearts in clouds and rainbows in puddles, flash me 1111 and signs in 3s.
Send me coins from heaven and feathers blown by the wind.
Time birds flying in formation whenever I search the skies for hope.
Show me dancing butterflies and buzzing bees when I least expect it,
tell my moth friends to surprise me with a visit.
Remind me again and again that you are in everyone and everywhere–
I know, but some days I let fear overwhelm me, and I need your pep talks then–
to lift the spirit and tap into the heart–the center of everything,
that trips the haywire of inner knowing
that tells me that you are with me, and I am with you,
that we are One, we are connected,
always. 💖

Vignettes

🌻

Sometimes you just need to soften and allow what needs to happen, happen.
Ride the wave and
go with the flow.
Resisting is a struggle and drains my spirit.
I’m so tired of running away,
of using force to fuel ego,
of lying in bed with fear.

I am back in my sunflower bathing suit,
lying on my back on a slab of rock in a quiet spot at the beach.
My face is turned up to the sun, naked as a sunflower always looking towards the light.
I don’t need sunglasses for this.
I hear the swishing and swirling of calm waves, water lapping against my thighs–nature’s intimate kiss.
I have no fear of getting sunburnt or salt water stinging my eyes.
It’s just me–birds, sun, sky, sea, and breeze, and the song of the Divine lulling me to sleep.
I am in safe hands.
All is well.

Affirmation: I am open to whatever needs to happen for my highest good. I trust that the Divine has my back, always. 🌻

Personal · Vignettes

Love fulfills the impossible

Impossible | Shout Out Louds (2007)

There was a time I would listen to Impossible by Shout Out Louds and think of him. Images would pour in like scenes from an old film. We were grasping the impossible and we both knew what it was.

Impossible, your love is something I cannot remember.

That time, I used to look at someone with rose-colored glasses until the glasses broke and I saw real-time in full HD. I don’t want to go back to wearing them again.

Let’s not fall back to sleep like we used to, do you remember?

Yesterday I heard “My Companion” and knew the voice was familiar–a new song by Shout Out Louds, 15 years after Impossible. I let the music wash over me and I fell in love again. I listened to old favorites–“Impossible”, “Illusions”, “Fall Hard”. They got The Cure vibes going on in a modern indie rock band package–that’s what drew them to me too. But I can finally say now that it’s possible to listen to the same piece of music attached to someone for many years and not feel anything for them anymore–just pure love for the song, the music, and relief it doesn’t come with old baggage. It has come back to full circle–music and love.

Stay out of love until you’re ready, stay out of it ’cause it scares you
You’ll still find your love outside the public library
I know it could happen to you

I was the ship and thought he was my anchor. We felt the pull of tidal waves and tried riding it but our hearts weren’t meant to land on the same harbor. We let it all out on metaphors like sheets left to dry out in the sun. I don’t regret any of it.

Now there’s a first time and a second time, you gotta hold on
Did you know it could happen to you?
Your love is something I cannot remember
Your love is impossible

Everything is connected and sometimes you only find meaning in hindsight. That’s how it’s meant to be. He taught me one of my greatest lessons: Choose yourself and be true.

I am grateful because it gave me the courage to be true to myself. It led me to you. And just like the waves that came before, I don’t regret riding it. I don’t regret you.

The love I’ve been looking for all these years, I found in me. And from here on out, sharing it will only be sweeter.

P.S. This post is inspired by the song “Impossible” by Shout Out Louds. Listen to and finish the song as an accompaniment to this piece.

Personal · Vignettes

Journey to the center of You 🌹

What am I grateful for in my soul journey?


Just a few days (and weeks) ago, I could not answer this question. I was immersed in my personal battles and wounds. It was a scary place I found myself in because I lost interest even in the little things that brought me joy like baking and following my creativity. I felt no pleasure in cooking and eating–it was reduced to a chore, a robotic function. I was also a walking storm raring for destruction because I was hurting inside and could not let it go. There was a lot I needed to declutter both physically and metaphorically.

Recently, I started opening my heart again to the truth that I am always being reminded through connections with other kindred spirits, through an outpouring of signs and messages from the Divine, through the love I receive every day, that I chose my soul journey and I am choosing to stay. Even through the difficult times when I am tempted to give up and unravel the work I’ve already done, when I don’t know what to do next, I choose to be here now no matter what now is. I commit to myself–my pain and healing, shadows and light, grief and joy, lessons and blessings. All these essential and complementing ingredients mix together and bake into a delectable Lea cookie. Or cake. Lol. 😂😂

I choose to show up bold and vibrant, with a sassy spirit and a full heart as much as I can. I am grateful for the turning-point moments when I see the light in the darkness and I find the strength to grasp on to it, to amplify and reflect it. I am also reminded of what the fierce spirit/artist & musician Nightbirde (Jane Marczewski), said on her memorable AGT audition:

“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”

Simple but true. That’s what a soul and life journey is all about–you embrace everything you have gone and are going through, even the most challenging, heartbreaking ones–and do your best to make something good out of it every day. 🌻

P.S. While it’s a huge help having a trusted person around who supports and loves you unconditionally, I discovered that the best boost for soul growth is YOU. Learning to be a nurturing mother, cheerleader, and best friend to yourself especially when you didn’t have those kinds of loving relationships growing up opens many doors to healing and growth. You’ll find more love and grounding support than you ever did before because it flows from within. 💗

Image credit: iCreateDaily.com