There was a time I would listen to Impossible by Shout Out Louds and think of him. Images would pour in like scenes from an old film. We were grasping the impossible and we both knew what it was.
Impossible, your love is something I cannot remember.
That time, I used to look at someone with rose-colored glasses until the glasses broke and I saw real-time in full HD. I don’t want to go back to wearing them again.
Let’s not fall back to sleep like we used to, do you remember?
Yesterday I heard “My Companion” and knew the voice was familiar–a new song by Shout Out Louds, 15 years after Impossible. I let the music wash over me and I fell in love again. I listened to old favorites–“Impossible”, “Illusions”, “Fall Hard”. They got The Cure vibes going on in a modern indie rock band package–that’s what drew them to me too. But I can finally say now that it’s possible to listen to the same piece of music attached to someone for many years and not feel anything for them anymore–just pure love for the song, the music, and relief it doesn’t come with old baggage. It has come back to full circle–music and love.
Stay out of love until you’re ready, stay out of it ’cause it scares you
You’ll still find your love outside the public library
I know it could happen to you
I was the ship and thought he was my anchor. We felt the pull of tidal waves and tried riding it but our hearts weren’t meant to land on the same harbor. We let it all out on metaphors like sheets left to dry out in the sun. I don’t regret any of it.
Now there’s a first time and a second time, you gotta hold on
Did you know it could happen to you?
Your love is something I cannot remember
Your love is impossible
Everything is connected and sometimes you only find meaning in hindsight. That’s how it’s meant to be. He taught me one of my greatest lessons: Choose yourself and be true.
I am grateful because it gave me the courage to be true to myself. It led me to you. And just like the waves that came before, I don’t regret riding it. I don’t regret you.
The love I’ve been looking for all these years, I found in me. And from here on out, sharing it will only be sweeter.
P.S. This post is inspired by the song “Impossible” by Shout Out Louds. Listen to and finish the song as an accompaniment to this piece.
The Constant Pilgrim 