It’s a quarantine thing

What’s currently helping me get through my sick days under quarantine?

I drink a lot of warm Korean barley tea sweetened with coco sugar, almost drown on drinking water, order soups and meals for the family via Grab Food (feel slightly guilty not being able to cook for more than a week), listen to sentimental love songs* (Bread and James Taylor are both medicine for the weary soul), watch a lot of Crime Scene Kitchen (Joel McHale is a ham!), Hudson & Rex, ice skating tournaments** (2022 ISU European Figure Skating Championships at Tallinn, Estonia) and discovered I enjoy watching rhythmic ice dance skaters more than the soloists–there’s more fun choreographed dancing and more upbeat music (Who would’ve thought disco music and ice skating go well together. Apparently, they’re a perfect combination.). I watched Harry Potter: Return to Hogwarts (20th anniversary special) twice and cried over it. And now I want to re-read the series and relive the magic. Also, I read a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfiction. Before we got sick, mom and I would religiously watch reruns of Buffy on Hits channel during weeknights. Sadly, they stopped at Season 2 finale when Buffy averted an apocalypse brought about by her vampire ex-boyfriend Angel/Angelus. I coped with the sudden loss by turning to fanfic and then I discovered I could binge-watch the series online for free…yes! (Let the binge-watching commence!) It’s my current guilty pleasure–re-watching Buffy and reading fanfic.

Admitting this led me back to a specific memory of reading Paulo Coelho’s By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept in 4th year high school–when a classmate who was also reading the same book for her English book report asked me whether I already got to the good part.

Me: Huh? What good part?
Classmate: The sex, of course.

Ooooh…that “good part”. I must’ve blushed automatically, but she needn’t know that she was talking to a pro who’s really good at finding out where the “good parts” are in novels. It was a secret pastime. Now, at this point in time, I’ve already read so many “good parts” that I know which ones were written well. And as a reader with omnivorous tastes, my verdict is still this: Women writers write the most satisfying love scenes with emotional impact.

*P.S. They don’t make sappy-but-feel-good love songs like they used to in the ’70s-’90s.

**My current favorite pair skaters are Charlene Guignard + Marco Fabbri from Italy and Olivia Smart + Adrian Diaz from Spain. They’re a pleasure to watch. The Russians are kinda over-the-top in technique–their skating is flawless but lack the emotion and entertainment factor.

Charlene Guignard + Marco Fabbri at the Italian Nationals 2022
Olivia Smart + Adrian Diaz at the Spanish Nationals 2022

For soloists, Ekaterina Kurakova from Poland recently caught my eye. She shines in every performance, plus she’s got a natural charm and infectious joy that makes me smile when I watch her skate. I would love to see more of her. But for perfection + flawless technique + grace, Russia’s Kamila Valieva is currently the darling of the skating world.

Ekaterina Kurakova at the Polish Nationals 2022
World’s #1: Kamila Valieva at the 2022 ISU European Figure Skating Championships in Tallinn, Estonia

***P.P.S. If you don’t know it yet, I am a huge Spuffy (Spike + Buffy) shipper. As in “I will go down with this ship” level. But definitely not a huge fan of Angel. If anyone’s interested, I’m your go-to girl for Buffy talk.

20+ years after this aired and I watched this on TV, I am still in love with these two! 💕

A beginning of something wonderful

#1212 #1221

A channelled writing and soul offering for 12/12 – 12/21. If you are guided to this, take what resonates. It’s the season for aligning with everything that your soul longs for, a season to close out anything that is ripe for an ending, a season to step up and allow yourself to prepare for and embrace new beginnings. Say yes to a beginning of something wonderful. 🌈💕🌻✨

“The more I’m with you
The more it feels like
This could be a beginning of something wonderful”

How sweet it is to have someone who thinks of you instantly when this song comes on, but I also think of it as my song for the Divine. The more I am at peace with myself at the moment, the more I anchor in my connection with the Divine. The more in tune I am with the Divine plan in Divine timing, the more open I am for blessings, beginnings, and something wonderful. The more grateful I am, the more I come into alignment and embrace my gifts and purpose.

“Your gentle means
And all seems to commence
A brand new pace in me
Hope it’s not a blunder
Especially when I uncover
Dig deeper
And I wonder”

Alignment is hearing and feeling the click signaling that everything is in place at the right time. The soul always yearns for alignment the same way the heart desires a beloved, or the anticipation for a lover’s caress. Alignment is the ultimate union of heart, mind, body, and soul. Every time you come close enough to kiss the Divine is a step closer towards alignment.

“When I get near you
I feel something deep within me
You know you bring me to new heights
I’m like a big balloon
Filled with hot air
Ready to explode
Each and every time I kiss you”

Now more than ever, we are being asked to come into alignment with what our heart and soul longs for. We are being called to rise up and embrace our personal callings as artists, healers, empaths, messengers, teachers, nurturers, conscious creatives, lightworkers, change makers, world builders. And when we do so, it’s not just for ourselves. When we are in alignment and we love what we do, our collective energies and actions contribute to a kinder, more conscious world.

Song: A Beginning of Something Wonderful (Orange and Lemons) 🍊 🍋

Rise

You don’t just grieve loved ones you lost through death. You grieve broken connections, people you once loved that you let go of, traumatic situations, lost dreams, the old versions of you. You have the right to grieve each and every one of them, to feel the sadness and heartache, to cry. And you have the right to allow yourself the time you need to heal from them. 


A lesson the Universe teaches me constantly is that everything and everyone that happened in my life–even the most painful, difficult, and confusing ones–they were all for my growth. Whenever I choose to see it that way, I see the purpose and value the lessons I take away from every person and every experience. I honor the truth of love that I received and gave away. No matter how fleeting or how much it has moved me to tears, it is always freeing to love and have loved than not at all. Nothing and no one is a waste in the grander scheme of one’s life and journey. 


You have the power to heal from any grief in your own time, at your own pace. And like that Katy Perry song, you will realize after every healing that you will not just survive. You will thrive. 

Photo by: Lea Vergara Apilado (“Undas 2021”)

The soul always knows

Your soul already knows. The rest of you just needs to catch up.

It’s that shiver along the spine, goosebumps blooming on your arms, hairs at the back of your neck standing up.
It’s knowing with a heart certainty that doesn’t need tangible proof to be true.
It’s an invisible hug warming you from the inside out when you least expect it.
It’s the soul bond that is never broken, never conscious of time nor space–it just is.

And when you finally embrace this deep knowing and surrender it back to the Universe, you are free to fly to greater heights, to flow with a vastness of spirit you were always meant for.

Affirmation: I trust in what my soul already knows. I listen to the nudges of recognition I receive within. 💜✨💙

Image credit: Nicholas Ng @ Unsplash

What healing looks like

Healing is so personal and different for everyone.

Healing for me is finally not being afraid to release situations and people that are toxic–even if they are family and friends. It’s not walking away from issues–it’s setting healthy boundaries. It’s respecting the need to remove myself from energies that chip away at my soul and trigger the hurt all over again.

Healing is still feeling the sadness and grief sometimes–that sharp pull at my heartstrings telling me to look back just one last time, to give it one more shot, to make up new imaginative excuses for myself yet again–but this time, finally planting my feet on the ground and saying enough is enough. It’s admitting that I have given off myself to people who didn’t see the value of what I was willing to give freely. It’s recognizing that I have burned myself out in situations that played out like a teledrama.

Healing is reclaiming my power and self-respect. It is sending out this message, “Yes, I will take the lessons and the love with me, but I also know when I am not being valued and respected, and what or who is not worth sharing my precious time and energy with.” It’s being discerning of the rare people who truly deserve my love and most authentic self-expression–the baring and sharing of my heart and soul at its purest form.

Healing is forgiving others who have hurt, judged, and misunderstood me, even when they have not taken accountability on their part. It’s recognizing that accountability isn’t something I can demand from someone who cannot even do it for themself.

Healing is forgiving myself too for any lingering guilt, blame, and sadness that latched on. If I can look at someone else with love and compassion, I deserve to look at myself the same way.

Healing is freeing myself from the prison of other people’s judgment and attempts to control my life and my choices. It’s saying, “F*** it. I am choosing me, this time. No more excuses. I am doing what I feel and know is the best for me despite what anyone else says and expects. I am following my own path that fills me up with joy and love.”

Healing is freedom and tastes like the salty sea air that wraps around me like a warm hug whenever I am at the beach.

Healing is knowing deep within my bones that whatever happens, whatever comes my way, whoever stays or doesn’t in my life, I can survive and I will thrive.